I'm ashamed. I started this blog to share about my digruntled life as a single working mother and, I had thought, some cougar escapades, and what happens? I fall for the very first match.com guy I ever went on a date with who is the same age as me. What's with that? He's a professional suit-wearing man. Yes, the man I mentioned in my last posting..the against type dude.
This whole experience has brought old questions to mind. These questions are older than the hills. Life questions we have all contemplated.
"What is love?"...anyway??
When do I know I'm in it? Out of it? Is it just for money? Sex? Out of desperation? At least I know it's not for babies' sake, what with my thousand-year-old eggs (courtesy of dear friend, Mark, love you!)
Why do some people fear it? Why do some people search for it all their life the Holy freakin' Grail? I've always found being in love a pain-in-the-ass, actually. Particularly in my former 30-year marriage...there was love, for sure, passion and a lot of emotional pain. A LOT of it. Since day one.
I actually told the new bf I loved him last night. He's been sheepishly been telling me for a while. I avoided it until my therapist, who I LOVE, prompted me to say it as soon as I could (she knows how I feel about him) since the longer you wait the bigger the "word" becomes. She was SO right! There is simply nothing NOT to love about this man.
What it actually means, not sure I'll ever know. Kind of like answering the other question,"What is happiness?"
Please share your, "I love you!" , stories. And if you're going to tell me you said it while ejaculating, or bemoaning, "Don't stop...right THERE", you simply just don't count. I don't want to hear it...
So glad you're back. Of course some people fear it, (myself included), you really put yourself out there when you say I love you. Your guy was very brave, especially since you didn't respond back with it right away. But he kept saying it. How sweet and fearless he must be.
ReplyDeleteI love different people in different ways. Does that count? My love is sincere. In fact, the older I get, the less time I have for people I don't love or love to be with. Life is too short.
I go out with men. But they seem too interested too fast and I end up feeling smothered. And that's only after a lunch date! I always switch a dinner to lunch-less formal, faster get-away if I'm bored, etc.
I do believe I will be "in love" again at some point in my life. Or at least I hope I will be. I feel very loved by many people. I have the dearest, dearest friends imaginable. But yet when I picture my future, I picture myself alone. Happily alone mind you. Surrounded by many loving friends, some of which would walk thru fire for me in fact, but yet not with a partner.
Aw, what the hell, maybe after a long marriage, 30 yrs. also (with our share of emotional pain) I'm just thrilled to be on my own again.
And, BTW, I never say I love you just for sex or in "THE" moment. But I do have love for that person in some way to be having sex. Casual sex isn't for me anymore. Too old, been there, done that.
Keep us posted and we'll do the same.
I love you, Mona :)